Got My Mind Set on You!

Was George Harrison infertile? I REALLY need to know, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.  Because honest to God, I nearly tripped over my own feet while out on a run the other day when “Got My Mind Set on You” started playing on my IPod.  I mean……just listen to the guy preach on and on and try to tell me it isn’t about fertility woes:

“I got my mind set on you
But it’s gonna take money
A whole lotta spending money
It’s gonna take plenty of money
To do it right child

It’s gonna take time
A whole lotta precious time
It’s gonna take patience and time
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right child”

Coincidence? I think not!

Yes, we are in the midst of infertility treatments round two. What fun! Luckily enough I have found a new specialist that has been wonderful so far.  I wasn’t sure, when my old RE retired, that I would ever find someone who would genuinely enjoy things like my one hit wonder, “Swim Through My Cervix” but I feel 95% certain that this new doctor would dig it.  He’s pretty laid back, has a good bedside manner and most importantly seems to know his shit. So that’s always a good thing! I recently had a procedure done where we found out that one tube is stuck again to the back of my uterine wall, which means man down on that side.  We are going to focus on the other side and send lots of ovary/fallopian tube loving juju to that area and hope it can make up for the other sides lack of function.  My doctor wants to smooth out my bumpy ute (aka- remove polyps) so that hopefully it will make a cozier nest for any little embryos that decide to hang out.  He also wants me to do an IUI very soon after that.  I’m not so sure I’m ready.  That shits expensive.  I am however, going to start seeing an acupuncturist and explore some natural/ diet remedies first.  Hopefully surgeries and IUI’s are not in my future, but I won’t rule it out either. If all else fails, I’m just going to buy one of these Ova Acheivers from I Heart Guts and snuggle it every night for good measure


So a big ol’ BOO to even having to think about this again.  I was secretly hoping I would be one of those people whose pregnancy just magically cured their body.  Alas, I have no such luck.  I did get pregnant (it was almost exactly one year ago) but naturally my uterus was a bitch and didn’t make a very cushy nest for my babe.  Miscarriages suck.

Secondary infertility is a strange land to hang out in.  It’s weird to continue wanting more of what you already have.  I would gladly give my slice of pizza to another who was starving if I could.  I’d eat my one slice, give out the extras and just be happy that I even had a piece.  BUT, the tricky part is that infertility isn’t like pizza.  (if you’ve followed my saga for awhile, you should get that dramatic pizza reference 😉 )  It’s very hard to discuss the woes of getting pregnant with #2 when I feel like I should just be grateful I even have one.  As a matter of fact, it’s so difficult that I’ve sat here at my computer attempting to put into words what it’s like and I just can’t seem to explain it.  So maybe that’s a blog for another day.

Oh, and you’re welcome for getting that song stuck in your head.  I’m certain you’ll be singing,” To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it to do it RIIIIIIGHT!”  for the next 3 days!


Here We Go Again

I’m baaaaack!  I’m way excited to start blogging again & documenting/ sharing / commiserating with you all.  It’s been far too long.  Writing this post feels like the beginning of a story or a new friendship and I’ll be honest,  beginnings are quite awkward for me.

Once upon a time a few years back, I started a blog dedicated to my journey through infertility.  It was quite amazing how blogging about such a painful, all-consuming part of my life helped me wade through the shit hole that it was is.  (oh and yes, I do use profanity in my writing because there are very few moments I can scream a good, “what the fuck?!” in real life and you ALL know that feels good to scream now and again!) SO, three or so years later I landed pregnant after our “third and final” IUI and after multiple surgeries, procedures and miscarriages.  Which meant suddenly I was on the other side and it left me with no idea how to post about my new mama woes on a blog dedicated to infertility.  So I didn’t.  For two years, I did not write.  BECAUSE really, nobody going through that shit hole cares about how you no longer sleep. ever.

Two years later and my sweet Sugar Pie sleeps, and so do I. Which, has opened a whole new door.  I now can muster the energy to bake, cook, craft, sew and do some of the things that I find lots of joy in!  Before Sugar Pie came along I was an elementary art teacher & it’s just in my blood to make things (except for apparently babies, I’m not really good at making those).

So here we are, starting this blogging relationship all over again & I’m pumped!  This go round I’m not putting myself in a box though.  YES, I am still quite infertile & will be taking you down the inevitable shit hole #2 with me BUT that is not all oh no, that is not all.  Quite certainly at some point I’ll ramble & share all about

art, photography, gentle parenting, being a DIY idea stealer borrower, infertility, coffee, coffee, coffee, sewing, cooking, baking, Sugar Pie, being a wannabe vegetarian, craftiness, running, being a SAHM, toddler crafts,

AND whatever other random thoughts may flow from my fingers onto this lovely screen.

A big welcome to everyone and thanks for stopping by my new humble abode on this here interwebs!